Successful "Olding"

1) Teeter and totter when you walk. People will rush to your aid, if they're not brigands rushing to rob you.
2) Therefore, use a cane. You can push elevator buttons with it; and if you do encounter brigands you'll be armed.
3) At the checkout, count out your exact change with shaky fingers and make a long conversation with your checker. They are very nice and lovely and have interesting lives.
4) Yes, be nice! Since you are no longer pretty and no longer smart, try to be nice.
5) Talk a lot about World War Two even if you were only an infant during it.
6) Dispense wisdom and advice liberally.
8) Watch TV and eat ice cream while you "still" can.
9) I.e., Enjoy yourself!
10) That is, you can stop saving for retirement now!
11) Talk a lot about Jesus. Oh right; I even did that before I got old.
12) Yes, play hymns and sing them in a quavery voice.
13) Wear velcro sneakers with white socks if you damn well feel like it!

Suggestions welcomed; yes I have seen that "Success at Any Age" e-mail; but you can send it to me if you feel like it.