Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Across the waiting room next to a big black
coffin-shaped Coke machine
in a little alcove sits a family
whose severely palsied child has
flu. Behind them, a tract rack says
“Levine Children’s Hosptal”

The woman wearing a painter’s cap with a green bill
and a long drab pony tail
is called over to intake desk re: insurance.
She wheels the little guy maybe 8 years old
who, non-verbal, understands things
and is crosseyed and communicates through
grunts and moans.

Then returning to the alcove where the other
son or who knows daughter waits, maybe 10,
with blond straight hair to the ears, Mom
explains this insurance thing quietly
to the other child,
who nods.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Down for the Count

I started to get a little success in the writing life and as a result got overwhelmed and quit.

What happened was that in the process of taking the next steps forward and making decisions I grew intolerably anxious. It was like that time on Jenny Craig when I reached my goal and felt so uncomfortable in my new successful body that I had to start gaining the lost pounds back. This fear, terror, whatever it is, usually just lurks beneath the surface but when I start to leave its clutches it rears up and roars. Clinically, Matina Horner named the anxiety "fear of success."

So I said, OK anxiety fear horror IquitIquitIquitIquit!! OK??

The monster stopped roaring but is still pacing around. Times like this I really miss Denny. You could say anything to him.